https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/davidfloodsterwallace/127299026123/tumblr_nt7nn92eFJ1s90laf?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://davidfloodsterwallace.tumblr.com/post/127299026123/audio_player_iframe/davidfloodsterwallace/tumblr_nt7nn92eFJ1s90laf?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fdavidfloodsterwallace%2F127299026123%2Ftumblr_nt7nn92eFJ1s90laf

johndarnielle:

quoms:

The best-ever Bitcoin cannabis drone entrepreneurs in San Francisco
Were a couple of guys who’d been friends since Montessori school.
One was named Jashwyn, and the other was Chaz.
They got 2 million dollars in seed funding.

Yeah, the best-ever Bitcoin cannabis drone entrepreneurs in San Francisco
Never settled on a name.
But the top two contenders after weeks of fundraising
Were DankDropper and WeedByAir.

Jashwyn and Chaz could see in TechCrunch they were headed
For bright lights, and home ownership, and Forbes’ “30 Under 30.”
So with a press release that made use of informal language
They hired a CEO for seven figures.

This was how Jashwyn moved back in with his mom
And told her IPOs were shit anyway.
And this was why Chaz,
In a cocaine-fueled fugue state,
Wrote an app to sell artisan water.

When you punish a person for dreaming his dream,
Don’t expect him to thank or forgive you.
The best-ever Bitcoin cannabis drone entrepreneurs in San Francisco
Will in time both out-earn and outlive you.

420!
420 but with drones!
420!
Hail hail!

lotta people asking whether I’ve seen it – yes, I have; it was Peter who forwarded it to me. It’s genius imo. I think it works especially well because the line-lengths are pretty forgiving in this song, you can pretty much do what you feel as long as you land on that iamb/trochee combo at the end of the first verse, though that’s not to sell the author’s work short here: this is tremendous, all glories to Tumblr user quoms I think? I struggle with nested reblogs to determine authorship

the one edit I’d make is based on the way I misread it at first – the line “420, but with drones” is funnier to me minus the “but”: “420, with drones!” but that could be a personal idiosyncrasy: [blank] with [blank] constructions give me the giggles, who knows why

anyway

420 with drones y’all